Not Equipped for Modern Romance…

Before we go celebrating that I finally wrote another post, I would just like to say I’m sorry for taking the longest hiatus known to man. As you know, life gets in the way and while I would love to tell you all about it, that will be saved for another time. Now…

London, is a city that has over 8 million people bustling around, day in and day out. All rushing to get somewhere, some showing signs of life behind their eyes, while most trot along with a stoic expression plastered on their face. At times you do feel like an invisible entity floating around an obstacle course designed to break you down. We work, eat, sleep and try to make plans with people months in advance. I’m convinced, people started doing that simply because they had something to look forward to. You know, to get them through the daily grind. But somewhere between becoming too attached to our phones and disconnecting from society we stopped looking at people. Like, really seeing them. We stopped interacting. And even though this city has millions of people gliding past you, it has become even more apparent of how lonely a place it has truly become. Especially when you’re trying to date.

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The Gaze That Stops Time

 

There comes a moment in every man’s life where he gazes into his partner’s eyes with a longing so deep that it touches the receiver’s soul. You could even say it’s a gaze that is more than life itself, aided by the twinkling of stars that has somehow been born from the universe. You are looking at a deep galaxy of lights, where each illumination is a memory that the bearer holds dear. And suddenly, just like the quickness of the snapping of fingers, a stillness of time manifests into infinity. It is just the two of you who matter, as the noises around you mute. You both seem to be in the know, while the rest of the world ceases to exist. That gaze, the one that makes you almost feel like you know the meaning of life, morphs into something that logically you can’t comprehend, and yet emotionally understand without question. Once this realisation hits, you become very aware that your breath becomes caught up in the thickness of the air around you, making it hard to digest the intensity . It’s a rarity… but if you are lucky enough to experience it, it is likely one that you will never forget.

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Singles Awareness Day


It would appear that today is Singles Awareness Day. As if we needed a dedicated day to be singled out even more than we already do. **Spoiler** We were very ‘aware’ of our singledom yesterday. And why might I add, is this ‘awareness’ the day after Valentine’s day? It seems like a commiseration prize that all the happy sappy couples cooked up and served with an air of smugness. We get the leftovers, the day after everyone declares their love to their significant lovers. Is that it? For the life of me, I don’t understand it. I know I’m single! I don’t need a day to remind me and others like me that in society’s eyes, we’re a bunch of lonely bastards for which pity must be bestowed upon us.

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Love Seemed Much Simpler in My Parents and Grandparents Generation

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Does anyone else feel like things are moving too fast nowadays when it comes to dating, love and relationships in general? Or am I the only one woman island in the middle of nowhere? As I look at my parents and grandparents’ relationships I have come to the conclusion that things have become a little warped. It definitely doesn’t seem so rosy anymore and somewhere along the way there seems to have been more rules put in place to make things even more difficult.

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It’s Okay, You Don’t Have To Settle…

 

Now that it’s officially summer, I’ve been seeing a lot of couples snuggling and holding sweaty hands together. Definitely more than usual. Maybe they chose the couple’s path because they wanted a partner to do fun summer things with. Or maybe they’re just tired of going to gatherings as that ‘single’ person, so they found another single person to be their indefinite plus one. Or perhaps it’s just that love is in the air and I haven’t gotten the memo.

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Easily Distracted By Niceties…


One evening as I was preparing to board a bus back home I did some mental exercises and a few ‘woooosaahhh’s’ to help me deal with the city. And by city I mean the unemotional assholes of this world. The ones where the city has hardened them to an unmalleable substance. Where the soot, grease and oil intertwine throughout their DNA making them the terminator from the first of the franchise. The one who did not befriend you through cheesy one-line zingers such as ‘Hasta la vista baby’ and ‘I’ll be back’.  Either way, one has to be mentally prepared for these kill-joys.

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What Will Become of Love In 100 Years?

what will become of love in 100 years

Recently I was thinking about relationships, dating and love in general. I suppose I’ve been pondering about it more because illogical things keep happening to me when it comes to men. That’s the nicest way I can put it. I also get super emotional when I see old people holding hands. Which I’m witnessing less and less by the way. However, I’m totally comfortable enough to admit it. I love seeing old people together. THERE! Anyway, in the midst of my contemplation I started to actually wonder if love would be possible 100 years from now.

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One of The Worst Things That a Woman Could Hear From a Man…Or in General for That Matter.

the fear of never being good enough

Originally I was going to post a nice little write-up about how my walls came crashing down and how I let someone in and how nice it was and blah blah blah. But in the space of one day things have changed and now I’m going to let some steam out.  I will try and keep the swearing to a minimum but if I stick with my truth mantra (always be honest) then the first part of this sentence is bullshit. Anyway, this is the story of the worst thing I could have heard as a reason not to continue dating me. It might seem long, sorry, but keep reading!

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The Phrase ‘Right Place, Right Time’ Has eluded Me For All My Life…

In the Right time and the right place

It’s a silly old thing, time. Isn’t it? There’s this power that it possesses for some reason. If you spend it poorly, it runs like water through a drain. If you spend it wisely, it might run like the summer months close to the north pole. Where the sunlight laces the days together and time seems to have created a wormhole of infinite length. But those scenarios can be reversed as well. Where it can speed up while having a wondrous time and then slow to a halt while you’re doing a task that you aren’t fond of. Time can be bent, skewed, thrown, stopped, pushed, delayed; manipulating it until you’ve achieved your goals. But what about the unfortunate few who have not had luck with time? Who have parted ways with missed chances or unseized opportunities because Lady Luck chose for them another fate; to not be in the ‘Right Place, Right Time’ section of life. As if you were in a constant state of ‘almosts’, but never getting any farther than that.  And it’s not like you can force it. That’s the elusiveness of it. I have felt like that about relationships. Where the circumstances have not been spot on. Or the feelings, affections, have not been right. They have been an almost, but not quite. There hasn’t been that meshing of souls. The clicking of thoughts. There seems to have always been a catch. A bent cog in an antiquated time piece. A hiccup of everlasting sharpness. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I have not been given the opportunity to relish in that happy moment of everything clicking all at once. The merging of synchronicity. So perfect in timing that we hear the atom pop.

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Where Has The “Delicious Tango of Minds and Universes” Gone?

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My fluffy Pandas! Hope you’re all doing well.

Sunday night I was looking at my Facebook Newsfeed, partly because I was bored and mostly because I had just finished from a long weekend of firsts for me (which I will explain in another post) so I really didn’t know what to do with myself. As I was scrolling, I stumbled upon one of Juliette Lewis’ posts. Firstly can I just say that I have loved her since the 80’s and secondly I once bumped into her right off of Charing Cross Road in London. I was with my friend at the time and we were just faffing around, not really knowing what to do for the remainder of our time together. When lo and behold this petite woman walked past us. I was like “DUDE!! that’s Juliette Lewis! I love her!” We then proceeded to follow her, desperately trying not to look like one of those questionable stalkers. She was on the phone and when she saw us hovering around and staring at her like a bunch of morons she hung up and we asked for her autograph. We only had one piece of paper amongst me and my friend, so after we apologised profusely for bothering her, she signed the lonely sheet. Anyway long story short she was super nice in person which made me like her even more than what I already did.

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Have A Little Faith In The Fact That You Deserve More Than You Expect

Quote of the day, have hope, faith, love

Pandas! I don’t know about you but, I don’t expect much out of life. Whether it be in friends, love, family, work, myself or whatever else, I have learned to come to terms with the fact that I expect lesser than what I deserve. And for the life of me, I don’t know why that is!

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Quote of The Day: The Comfort of Feeling Safe With Someone

Comfort: Quote of the day

My dear fluffy pandas, this is going to be a super quick post today. And because of the swiftness, I thought I would leave you with a good quote (Featured image).

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My thought when I read this is that I miss the intimacies of being in a relationship sometimes. The understanding between two people. The downright psychic powers you possess in knowing what your partner is doing and what each personality trait means no matter how much of a micro-expression it is.

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Why Women Faking Orgasms Is Not A New Revelation…

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Let’s start off by saying that faking an orgasm can be quite common for women; almost like breathing. Are some men surprised at this fact? Is society? Last time I checked over half of us are women. So we are either keeping the greatest farce alive for a specific reason or we have a problem discussing it openly and honestly. There should be no more shock about it anymore. Sometimes it happens. At times it could be necessary while other times it’s accidental. There are many reasons behind such deception. So brace yourselves and hang on to your undies people!

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A Sunday Kind of Love…

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Ah amour… Isn’t it grand. This one word has played host to a whole range of emotions ever since the very first thought and feeling formed in our Neanderthal cousins. They were the first of our species to live together and congregate in groups, so I can only assume it started then. Sometimes I’m sure you’ve wished that you never knew the word love and what it stands for, while other times you knew that life was not worth living without having it. Which is curious seeing as most of us are forgetting the details in it. We are rushing from relationship to fling, to hook up, back to a relationship whereupon losing the glorious subtleties in the slowness of a flickering flame. The beginning musings of two lovers has become a novelty act in a modern novel which will no doubt be picked up by a billion dollar movie company so it can be mass produced and distort our already skewed notions of the subject. They forget to tell the truth that sometimes love doesn’t work out. But the point of it, is to have been able to have experienced it. The touching of hands, the embrace leading up to a passionate kiss. The midnight conversations and the giggling of inside jokes. I know it’s an even better story if the “Boy gets the girl”, but what about what they went through after that?

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Actions Always Speak Louder Than Words…

Actions speak louder than words

Pandas I don’t know what’s up with people (me included), but we are getting softer as the years go by. In fact we are letting a lot of things slip. Things that used to be checked and brought to attention. Action used to be a big priority. Words helped, but it was the action of your beloved’s soul that made you feel wanted, cared for and loved. So why in god’s name are we letting people get away with months or years worth of no action? It’s mind-boggling to say the least.

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