It would appear that today is Singles Awareness Day. As if we needed a dedicated day to be singled out even more than we already do. **Spoiler** We were very ‘aware’ of our singledom yesterday. And why might I add, is this ‘awareness’ the day after Valentine’s day? It seems like a commiseration prize that all the happy sappy couples cooked up and served with an air of smugness. We get the leftovers, the day after everyone declares their love to their significant lovers. Is that it? For the life of me, I don’t understand it. I know I’m single! I don’t need a day to remind me and others like me that in society’s eyes, we’re a bunch of lonely bastards for which pity must be bestowed upon us.
I was never one to fist bump the air with elation every time I was subjected to classical music. In fact I would throw myself a pity party every time my parents would force it upon me. I can remember the uncomfortable car rides when we were living in New York. It was classical music 24/7. I would plead for them to play the country music station but alas, my calls would go unanswered. Yes, you read that right… I was obsessed with country music. I had a cassette tape of The Judds which I used to play over and over again. My dad would get flustered and eventually snap at me because of my overuse. If it wasn’t classical or Greek music, he didn’t want to know.
So my little pandas, I’m going to try and talk about depression, panic/anxiety attacks in the lightest way possible. Key word being… try, because quite frankly I don’t want to get myself worked up again to the point where funny gifs won’t be able to do their job anymore.
‘Food glorious foooooood!’…. is what I want to sing from the top of my lungs whenever I discuss such a scrumptious topic. I’m not going to lie, I love food. It brings you together with friends, you feel the love that was made with it while sitting around the dinner table with family, and let’s not forget the feelings of euphoria that run wild after you’ve finally satiated your haaanger. I mean, what’s not to love about food! Well, after so many years of having the best love affair of my life, it would seem it has come to an end. At least for the time being. My lover, has betrayed me, and my stomach and gut are now paying the price.
Now that it’s officially summer, I’ve been seeing a lot of couples snuggling and holding sweaty hands together. Definitely more than usual. Maybe they chose the couple’s path because they wanted a partner to do fun summer things with. Or maybe they’re just tired of going to gatherings as that ‘single’ person, so they found another single person to be their indefinite plus one. Or perhaps it’s just that love is in the air and I haven’t gotten the memo.
So my little pandas, I have been MIA lately and I can only send you 1000 apologies for that. In a nutshell I have changed jobs and for the past 7 weeks my stomach has felt like Mount Vesuvius. It was affecting me so much that I couldn’t even leave my house in fear that I would randomly explode on public transport. I’m sure that’s painted a wonderful picture but that’s my life at the moment. It ain’t all roses. On top of that, I had major stress that I would be fired because I kept having to leave. But luckily as of right now they have been understanding about the situation. But who knows if this continues.
Happy Hump Day my little fluffy pandas! I mean big up to at least getting this far without collapsing in tears as the last drop of wine leaves the bottle. Well done you! I of course can’t say the same thing, but I keep on plodding along the best way I know how… like an alcoholic that’s dead to the world. Okay, okay! In all seriousness I decided to pass along some Wednesday wisdom to help me and you get through life’s awefulness. And what better way to do it than to throw some sparkly, funny gifs at you! So here we go!
Happy Monday my fluffy pandas! Here we are… another start, to another week. Blah! But like my previous Monday posts I shall not leave you feeling miserable. Oh no! I am here to say we are in this together! We are gonna motivate the shit out of each other whether you like it or not! Therefore this week’s essential motivational quote is about being comfortable. And of course to surround yourself with beautiful souls who bring out your comfortability to the max.
One evening as I was preparing to board a bus back home I did some mental exercises and a few ‘woooosaahhh’s’ to help me deal with the city. And by city I mean the unemotional assholes of this world. The ones where the city has hardened them to an unmalleable substance. Where the soot, grease and oil intertwine throughout their DNA making them the terminator from the first of the franchise. The one who did not befriend you through cheesy one-line zingers such as ‘Hasta la vista baby’ and ‘I’ll be back’. Either way, one has to be mentally prepared for these kill-joys.
That title is all about me… Me, myself and I. It popped into my head one day after a psychological warfare was underway in the deepest recesses of my cranial cavity. What was the internal conflict? Me panicking about going out. Yup… as simple as that. And because of all the different synapses firing off inside my skull, I worked myself up so much that I started shitting every hour. Sadly, I’m dead serious. That’s how messed up my tummy was! Thus my whole ordeal started from 9am that Saturday morning and ended when the first sip of gin & tonic hit my lips. Well actually if I’m being completely honest, it started when the event was booked. But all the shitting, fortunately for me, was the day of. How thoughtful of my stomach and brain. With that being said, I have no idea how my brain has turned into such a mess. It has somehow suffered a short circuit (possibly several) where once the internal workings were such a smooth process, but now, convulsions take place internally instead. Isn’t that nice…
Ah quotes! A statement to live up to and create goals for. I’m not going to lie, I truly love a good ol’ quote like the rest of them. Sometimes they just encapsulate how you’re feeling in a sentence or two. Not to mention it kinda makes you feel like you aren’t the only one out there in this big ol’ world. If someone has created the quotes, that means that same someone would have felt like that at one point in time. It’s nice to feel a connection in that moment after you’ve read a touching, motivational quote. Some may console your sadness, while others lift you up to the heavens. I suppose this post will be a gentle ‘quote’ reminder to not forget your dreams.
Oh pandas… it’s another week. How did that happen already?! Since it’s Monday, it’s therefore supposed to be the restart, re-energise, re-diet, re-motivation, re-something of the week. It’s the day where most, if not all of us, use as a fresh start. Right? I know I’m not the only one. However today, for me, was pretty difficult. It was hard to stay positive. To get that hashtag Monday Motivation thing going. Lately, it seems that I haven’t been keeping my positivity pants on. I let it slip. And to be honest, once you let it slip, it’s hard to catch yourself before you fall back down to the very hard cold floor of negativity. The thing is, I try very hard every day to stay positive. It has helped with my panic attacks, my mind, my health and my emotions. So even though today was a hard day to get my body and mind moving, I did it nonetheless.
Despite my recent disastrous fling with a moron, I am still quite open to meeting the so called “One”. I mean let’s be honest, who am I to pooh-pooh an emotion that has been around since the invention of time, even if my idea of men has declined throughout the years. I still want to believe, I know that much. I suppose I still feel like there might be something out there. However, I am also accepting of the fact that it might never happen for me, which believe me, I have come to terms with. But before I officially wave the white flag and succumb to a life of solitude, I have chosen openness in changing my views a little.
No… Just to be clear, I wasn’t starting out in an overweight fetish industry. Nor was I trying to seduce a potential suitor. I am not interested in men for the foreseeable future and I’m not in the right country for people to appreciate a good curvy, round, plumpy woman. Unfortunately, I took photos of myself in my underwear because some loser decided that you have to possess “before” images in order for you to commit to a healthy fitness lifestyle. A lifestyle that you’ve been dreading to start for the last 4 weeks. Boy, I sure would like to meet the moron who came up with this idea.
So tonight’s the night! For some, the new year’s already started. So as the rest of us countdown to the beginning of another 365 days of hopes and promises, I will leave you with this last post of 2015.