When a Loaded Word (c**t) is Flung in Your Direction…

Today started off as any other day. I sent out my CV to potential job opportunities (I was made redundant), had lunch and then decided to do my daily walk around town.  It would always end at my local Waitrose (grocery store chain in the UK) where I would pick up a few necessities and then make my way to Costa Coffee where I would splurge and get my decaf peach iced tea. Yes, that is what I call splurging at the moment. This has been my routine, my world, for the last 2 months. A simple one. But today was not like any other day, today was the day I was called an uneducated C**t in an upscale grocery store.

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100 Things To Do Before You Die…

100 things to do before you die

So my little pandas, I have been MIA lately and I can only send you 1000 apologies for that. In a nutshell I have changed jobs and for the past 7 weeks my stomach has felt like Mount Vesuvius. It was affecting me so much that I couldn’t even leave my house in fear that I would randomly explode on public transport. I’m sure that’s painted a wonderful picture but that’s my life at the moment. It ain’t all roses. On top of that, I had major stress that I would be fired because I kept having to leave. But luckily as of right now they have been understanding about the situation. But who knows if this continues.

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When You Realise That Your Emotions Haven’t Completely Shrivelled up and died….

Love, Feelings, Emotions,

Pandas, I am officially back. Well, to be honest I came back late last Thursday night but I was not mentally prepared to start my brain until today. Yes, it took me a week. I have been a walking blob ever since I arrived in London. For those of you who don’t know where I went, it was to Cyprus, which is in the Mediterranean. My parents and other family members (from my dad’s side) live there. This was the first time in years that I decided to spend Christmas over there. To be completely honest, I have not been a fan of that country for a while now. And that was mainly because it held a very important reminder for me every time I stepped my pudgy foot back on its soil. A painful reminder of unrequited love. Or more to the point, a fake love that left me barren of any kind of emotions whatsoever. He stole them from me. Like a thief of an elaborate and unexplainable heist. Broken and tarnished, I left my country. I left because my greatest drive was to move back to London. If I didn’t have that ambition then I know I definitely would not have been here right now talking to you guys.

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Just Own Your Bad Decisions and Move On…

Bad Decisions, Friday, Best Stories

Happy Friday Pandas!

Can you believe it’s only two more weeks to Christmas?! I mean where has this year gone? Mentally I have started shutting down knowing that I have exactly 13 days until I go back home to see my parents in Cyprus. Whoop whoop! Anyways, enough with the pleasantries. This post is not about me going back home, but about bad decisions.

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This Week’s Mission: Taking Some ‘You’ Time…

You time

Well, my dear fluffy pandas, another weekend has come and gone. Sunday’s are always a bit of a drag aren’t they? It’s a mixture of emotions. In the morning you’re happy because you realise you have one more day to relax, while the evening seems like a countdown to dooms day Monday. Okay maybe that’s a bit much. But as you know from my previous Sunday posts (here, here and here. There’s more but I restrained myself) that I am not a super fan of this particular day. I tend to reflex, mope and then look to the week ahead in a somewhat positive light. The only reason why I do the latter  is so as it reduces the chances of me making up an excuse to call in sick on Monday.

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Why Saying Nothing Is Sometimes The Better Option…

Learn not to say too much

I started this post back in October, which was originally going to be about something completely different but certain things have changed my mind and now I need to get it out before I lose my marbles.

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Actions Always Speak Louder Than Words…

Actions speak louder than words

Pandas I don’t know what’s up with people (me included), but we are getting softer as the years go by. In fact we are letting a lot of things slip. Things that used to be checked and brought to attention. Action used to be a big priority. Words helped, but it was the action of your beloved’s soul that made you feel wanted, cared for and loved. So why in god’s name are we letting people get away with months or years worth of no action? It’s mind-boggling to say the least.

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The Invisibility Cloak of being Average…

invisibility Cloak

So I just turned 32 a couple of weeks ago and it has started this constant chain of panic and fear that I have yet to achieve anything substantial in life. Thirty two years on this fucking planet and I have been playing below par for three quarters of it. Well, I can’t technically say all the years because I physically don’t remember the first 4-5 of them. Who knows, maybe I was above average in those years like excelling in finger painting, but I somehow highly doubt it.

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Adding To My Journal Obsession….

Katie Leamon

Hi Pandas! So remember when I said I had a pretty serious obsession about buying random journals? No? Well here’s the post about it. If you just skimmed through it, then you know that my obsession is getting a tad out of control. So I guess it won’t come as too much of a surprise when I tell you that I bought more Journals. Right?

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The Little Things To Make a Place Feel Like Home…

IMG_5407

Hello fellow Pandas!

I finally feel somewhat settled in my new place. It’s not quite complete yet but it’s starting to come together.

Like with any new place of your very own you want to have a homely feel to it. But alas I am not made of money and that money tree that I planted hasn’t produced any currency yet, so I decided to start with the little things to spruce up the place with.

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A Stormy Kind of Sunday Filled With Reflection…

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Ah how another Sunday has come and almost gone. Today was so chilled out. I love days like that, don’t you? No stress, catching up on some shows, doing some writing and generally being an all round easy Sunday kind of day. The weather was not so easy however. There was a miserable dreary overcast that was hovering above London. And still is, by the way. But I love those kind of days. It helps you get cosy. Where chilling in your pj’s  comes so effortlessly easy.

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Photo Diary – A Day In Paris

Fun Fact, I got the chance to go to Paris for the day and it was magical. I have been there before but I was a lot younger. So I couldn’t really remember too many details of that trip. Plus it was in the days of film and I have no clue where those negatives are. My photo taking skills were quite shocking back then so the photos wouldn’t really have helped me jog my memory anyway.

This time I was ready! I had my camera charged and my new iPhone in my hand. Plus I had a portable charger just in case I turned into a photo taking freak of nature. The funny thing is, that I took all these photos that you are about to see with my iPhone. I guess it was because it was so convenient for me.

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Theme of The Week – Love – A Struggling, Abusive, Selfish Love

WarsanShire


The sadness of this rings ever so true. At least for me. When I first read this I couldn’t help but be drawn to the words. And then my past caught up with me and engulfed my soul.  Memories of brokenness broke out of me. Sorrow of a weaker self. A diminishing of a character that once used to flourish. After reading this quote, I realised that my past of a torturous, abusive love, was indeed a war. And upon my return, was faced with changes in a person that I did not recognise.

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Fall In Mutual Weirdness And Call It Love…

Dr. Seuss Quote

Let’s start our week of Love off right. And what better way to start, than to talk about weirdness. Yeah you read right! I’ll have you know that Dr. Seuss was spot on with the above quote.

Weirdness takes a major precedence when finding your preferred mate o’ love. Why? Well behind closed doors is where we unleash our weirdness. Where we can be our true selves. So we need to find someone who we can be weird together.

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