Short Girl Problems…

Short girls

I am a lady of the shorter persuasion. I would like to say I am close to 5″4′ which I happen to tell people, but in reality I’m actually 5″3′. Fun times for me right? On many occasions I think, why couldn’t I have just been 5″7′. It would have solved a whole lot of problems.

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Before I Go To Sleep…


Every night as I prepare to fall asleep, I get plagued by the fear that my brain may not switch off. For one reason or another, it seems like I have built up an intolerance to mellowing out over the years. As soon as my head hits the pillow, my brain starts going into over-drive. And so, every night without fail, I become an angry ball of mush who’s brain is being stuffed full of convoluted mind-fuckery.

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Dieting Has Officially Driven Me crazy…




I tried… I honestly tried. For years I attempted to better myself but I think it’s about time that I just face the facts and say that doing these rigid dieting treatments is not for me. I love food way too much and I definitely don’t mind being the only fatty in the city. Ok, sometimes I do but if it’s at the expense of losing the will to live then forget it. God knows all the health freaks of the world are going to slaughter me but you know what I say to them… I’m not judging your lifestyle choices, so don’t judge mine.

Every new diet that gets traction has been discussed between me and my girlfriends. One says they are on the 5;2 diet and the rest jump on the bandwagon. Another tried that maple syrup detox shit for 14 days and the rest hopped on the express train to slimsville.  Do you know the will power that you must have to only drink a diet concoction for 14 days and that’s it. I mean I barely have the will power to get out of the house on the weekends. Most of the time I am one lazy bitch. I have no will power to speak of.

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Is It Ever ok to Lick and Suck Someone’s Toes off?

There comes a time in your sexually adventurous life when you come face to face with adversary and trepidation. It is when the man/woman you’re with asks you something that might make you stop dead in your tracks and go…”You wanna do what now?”


Or worse, they might do it without telling you and you’re left lying there naked and vulnerable, trying to shoo them away nicely while trying to get back to the normalcies of sex. No one wants a surprise while they are naked. And once they spring it on you, the next 45 minutes are of you thinking about how awkward of a situation it was and why couldn’t I get this out of my head.

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