The Man Who Said He Wasn’t ‘Feeling It’…

I'm just not feeling it

Men still, to this day, perplex me. It’s a subject that I probably won’t be able to master in my lifetime. Sure, I might get close but in the end they (men) will inevitably do something to throw me for a loop. And oh, how it frustrates me so.

I was going to say recently, but now that my brain has started working, I realise that it’s been a while since I’ve seen a penis. So let’s just say this little story will be about the last man that has befriended my va-jay-jay.

I met a man through a dating app. He was cute, loved sci-fi, was somewhat funny, yet reserved and knew how to dress. After a couple of weeks of talking I invited him to a club where my friends and I were going to go. We met, he wasn’t a crazy and from there we proceeded to have various meet-ups of sexually inclined trysts for the six months that were to follow.

It’s funny really when I look back on it because I was questioning then. I was always wondering if this guy liked me. But for those months I never met a single one of his friends, we rarely met up to actually go anywhere and the most ridiculous part, was that he never called me. We always used to communicate by text. I mean who does that? I don’t even care that that’s what people do nowadays. I want someone to call me and pursue me. But for six months I really didn’t have any clue whether I was coming or going. I did confront him around the 4 month mark and asked if he wanted it to stay casual and he replied by saying that “I don’t do casual.” So I thought ok, maybe he does like me. But as the days turned into months, nothing had changed. Until one day I was about to pull my hair out. The thing is, my pandas I am not a needy type of gal. I won’t cling, I won’t call all the time, I won’t even bother you with loads of text messages. However, the one thing I cannot stand is not knowing where I stand with someone.

I think nowadays women are too easy. We go by what the men say. It’s almost like we get excited that someone ‘might’ be into us that we forget our self worth. And I was a stupid lady this time round. Like I am every time I’m with a man. I forget what I want and who I am. I genuinely want to slap myself sometimes. On a side note, I think that’s why I’ve stayed single for so long (this time round).

Anyway, after 6 months of the same roundabout ways I confronted him yet again. And do you know what this idiot said to me through a text message? “I’m just not feeling it.” Excuse me? You’re not feeling it? So I called him and he finally picked up the phone, which was probably the second time in six months. I repeated his own words to me. Almost like a final confirmation.  And just like that we ended something that never really had a chance to begin with.

Who text messages someone after six month of having sex with them and say that they weren’t feeling it. Because as far as I was concerned his dick was sure “feeling” it. If you are any sane human being you will know after a few dates. If anything you will probably have sex, just to see how it goes and if nothing, you move on. You don’t swing your dick around for six months and as soon as I ask a serious question of “Where is this going?” do you cower in a corner somewhere and eventually run for the hills. Anyway, that’s when I realised that I was face to face with yet another man that had a problem with getting to know someone on a deeper level. I wasn’t even asking for a commitment. A relationship, if you will. I was simply asking to connect with someone. That they at least tried a little. It was that simple.

It’s funny because after we ended it, he finally added me on Facebook, and on Instagram. And then after a few month, he started getting in contact again and proceeded with all the sexual innuendos. I’m not going to lie. We did have sex again. Oh what?! I’m only human at the end of the day. But it was clear I was simply there to put out every once in a while. I eventually told him that I had enough. Actually it was a really long text message whereupon his response was… “woah, fair enough.” And I never heard from him again. I mean it’s laughable.

I don’t know if you guys ever experienced the feeling of rejection even though you did nothing wrong, mixed with not being good enough. Well that’s what I felt like. How dare someone make me feel like that, again. Who did this guy think he was? It’s not my fault that he had problems with commitment. That he didn’t know how to communicate and delve deeper, down to someone’s soul. No, that’s all on him. And I’m okay with that. I tried, I know I did. Even if trepidation set in. I still tried.

So if a man is telling you that he’s not feeling it, simply smile, wave good bye and move on. You are all worth so much more than that. And I sure as hell need a man to be a man at the end of the day. I need him to listen, share, communicate, laugh and delve deep into my soul. If he can’t even pick up the phone to call me and be honest then he can fuck right off.

Peace, Love and Know your worth!


9 thoughts on “The Man Who Said He Wasn’t ‘Feeling It’…

  1. This happened to me as well. I met a guy on a dating website, we hit it off and our primary way to chat was text. Our chemistry was so good he said he could wait to see me again after our first date. Then it turned into every Sunday, we dated and all was good.
    Then 3 months later in his phone blows up, he says he has to change his number. Red flag, then another 3 months goes by and I realize I have not met any of his friends. Oh my friend is having a party…I was never invites, 2nd red flag. Then I look him up on fb, his profile pic is him and another girl…very cozy pic.
    So I send him an invite on fb to see what he did. He added me, then I saw on his timeline several gf posts from her and more couple pics…dating back before we had met.
    Yeah, why make a profile, date me and persue me when he had a gf??? She was the one all his friends knew and socialized with. They went out on Friday night’s, I was the Sunday gal. I was devastated.
    He then immediately changed his profile pic to his dog, and started deleting/hiding all his couple pics with her. We broke up a week later, kept in touch. I really liked him so I was trying to be open to him making a choice. Oh yeah he chose, it was a 3rd gal…and told me he told his “other friend” and me that he didn’t want a relationship.
    Then 6 months after that, it was oh we are poly, and you and I can hang out again….what?! Really?? Then he said if they broke up, he and I would get back together. Well then 4 months later a 4rth gal posts on his wall that it’s their 6 month anniversary of dating. I totally was just done…when I asked him what had happened to what we talked about, he said oh that’s the same girl, we are just not poly anymore.

    Total lie, this is a different gal, so now it was, well I’m not single but if I am in the future, we can be together. Then his gf some how found out about me…so she asked him to block me on fb. My ego, and self worth just went down the tubes. Then I realized wait….its not me, I did communicate and was honest about my feelings. It’s him, he is misleading. Funny part is he did me a favor. I didn’t realize all the stress he caused. After a few weeks of no communication, I felt happier, more positive, peaceful.

    The next guy I dated was much younger, and said after sex, he just wasn’t into me. Um Ok? Before sex would have been better. He was not that great, very low self worth and said he had many issues, needs a therapist…blah blah . I just felt so used? Again??? I even waited a year before dating again
    I am going thru the …whats wrong with me phase again. It’s just not worth the frustration. I’m done…

    • Hey Leti,

      Thanks so much for sharing your story! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. What I do know, is that it’s not on us. None of it is. It is their issues with the amount of choice in this world and not being able to think properly once their penis gets involved. There is definitely nothing wrong with you. You know that you deserve only the best and you will get it!

      Wishing you lots of laughter and happiness,

  2. I am so happy to have come across this article. THANK YOU!! I was married 24 yrs until 2 yrs ago. Have dated some wonderful men, but some users too. Currently I am involved with a man that every 2nd thursday mssges me to have dinner/get together. Sex, then I don’t hear from him for 2 weeks. Initially when I asked what we were he said, lets just see where this goes. So I have been, but am not so anxious about exactly what it is. My life is on hold emotionally because I care about him but get nothing in return. Having read this, I now know I need to walk away. Thank you…….and yes, we are worth so much more.

    • Hi Pam! My apologies for not replying to you sooner!! But thank you for sharing your story. I hate that phrase “Let’s just see where it goes.” I mean, they either know or they don’t know, simple as that. Hang in there Pam. But remember, to always do things that will make YOU happy. You need to come first! xxx

  3. Thank you so much for this. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 months now and I have the same problem. He will not pick up the phone. Won’t even answer when I call him or make definitive plans other than maybe dinner at his place or mine. He said he’s not feeling it as much as I am. In a text message.

    • In a text message????!!!!!! That makes me upset for you. I’m so glad though that we aren’t alone in this. We know our worth and you know what you deserve. And it certainly isn’t in a text message. Hang in there. As much as I can be a little bit of a party pooper when it comes to the opposite sex, I know that the universe will send something good my way. We got this! 💪🏽💛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s